I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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