He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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