Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
