How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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