: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
