Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
