Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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