closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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