It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
