The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize