K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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