it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
