just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
