How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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