4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
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Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
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You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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