who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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