I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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