I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
