Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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