Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Come share oat with me in your robe
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
