I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize
