So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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