the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
