Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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