That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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