you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
