The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
