People in love make me want to vomit
you would pick up someone in the library
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Found your dick twin last night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
