i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
