u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
