I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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