do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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