OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
im having a threesome with these popsicles
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
