D3 body, D1 cock
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
