I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
