I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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