Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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