i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize