we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
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I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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