The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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