my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
