its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
