Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
