If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
