Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
