i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize