I wish I could punch you in the face.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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