he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
