I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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