His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
love makes seman taste better
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
