we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
