C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
