I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
