She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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