3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Enjoy the penises
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
