So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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